Learning to walk out in public

Well as part of my want to be able to just walk out on the town. I have been going out and walking around my apartment complex at night in one of my more every day outfits with my forms in. I’m finding that this helps to build up the courage of just walking around out in public. It also help with training my feet to walk in heels. Now to help out I always tend to do this around 11pm -1am at night just to reduce the risk of any mishaps. Now I tell you it does tend to happen that someone will be out on there deck or walking in a stairway. I have had this happen to me a few time. Even tonight I was getting ready to walk up the stairs to my apartment and 2 guys showed up to go up the same steps. So when this happens I just make sure my hoodie is over my head and just walk right on by. If I’m walking really close I tend to just look down so that they can’t get a good view of my face.

I hope to break this habit when I finally get all my make-up together and learn how to properly use it. That and I also need to get a good wig. Once I get all this down and a few more sessions of walking around at the apartment without my hoodie to protect me. I plan to try walking around at a store or something where there is more chance of people being around and I really have to be more feminine.

I so can’t wait for this day. Now to just get a more feminine voice by then as well.

New Clothes

So I finally manged to save up enough money to make a nice order for some new clothes. So now that I have them I figured I would take a few pictures finally of what they look like on me. These are just a few as all the clothes that I have ordered have not gotten here yet. Once they get here I will take some more pictures for you and post them.

I have to apologize for some of the blur. I’m not to good with the camera when its myself taking pictures of myself.

Caught

Well today some what sucks. One of my friends found my lovely vibrator. I can’t tell you how much that sucks. You try to keep it hidden so that no one will knows and what the hell happens someone finds it. Fuck.

Everything seems to be going alright. Nothing was said about it. Shit I didn’t even know until I went into the bathroom to get ready for bed. So hopefully everything will be fine.

I just can’t believe I was so stupid and left it out in the open. I just have to be happy nothing else was found.

Shoes

I don’t know what it is but for some reason I just love shoes. Especially the heels. I know there are a lot of you out there that just love them just as much. I just can’t help myself but to come home and just put on a nice pair of heels and just walk around. When you put them on you just can’t help but feel sexy. I just really wish I could just spend the whole day walking around town in nice pair of boots.

I know a lot of you are would love to do the same thing. Then there are the rest of you that go are you crazy. Your feet will hurt so bad, but you know what. I don’t care. I love them way to much to let that matter.

One of these days I will have a nice collection of shoes. One for every outfit in every color. Hopefully that day comes soon.

Been a While

Sorry to say its been a while but since I have posted. Thought I would give you an update on how things are going.

So far my roommates have come back. So no fun in getting to spend the whole day en femme. It sucks. I miss the ability to fill comfortable just walking around the house in a nice pair of pants and a shirt with some high heels on, or walking around in a dress. I never felt so free as those 2 weeks with out anyone else in the house.

I’m hoping to get a place on my own here in the next couple of months. So that I can enjoy being myself with out any worries or complaints. I can actual take the time to design a good wardrobe. I can finally learn how to apply all sorts of makeup. I can finally get to learn how to walk in extreme high heels. You know a nice pair of 4-6″ ones. I would have to say the best part will be the ability for me to have my clothes out and not have to stuff them into a box all the time and hide them from being seen.

I just can’t wait. Once I get the whole femme thing down. I will finally be able to go out in public and be more confident that I look like the role I am going for. I will be able go shop for clothes and get other feminine things with out having to order them from the internet. The only thing I will have to work on is the voice. This will be real hard in that I would have to say I have a pretty deep one to begin with.

Hopefully with this new place I will be able to write you some tutorial on some of the techniques that I find to work.

Who I truly am

Well I am here today to describe myself more to you. In the hopes that it will easy you mind and to help you trust me more with my advise.

What name would you use to describe yourself?
Well if you had to put one name to who I am. I would have to say a Trans-Lesbian. The reason behind this would have to be that well I prefer girls over guys. Don’t get me wrong if I was en femme and the right guy came around I would still be in for a fun night.

What is your sexual preference?
Well as I had stated above my primary focus is of the female type. Although I have nothing wrong with a guy here any there. Well Amaya doesn’t anyway.

Do you ever plan to have any form of GRS (Gender Reassignment Surgery)?
Currently I have no desire for any surgery. Personally I enjoy my ability to care on two personalities. My female side “Amaya” seems to be my more creative side. She loves to wear multiple outfits in one day. She just wants to go shopping, just to go shopping. Where as my male side “&#*!@^$” gets to be my more productive one. He gets to love cars. He gets to go fast. He gets to scratch himself and not care.

Having both sides lets me discover new things most people don’t get to experience everyday. What male gets to know how fun it is to strap on a pair of heels “I love wearing heels!”, or knows the joy of wearing makeup. Where most females don’t get to feel what its like to not care about anything, the way you look, the way you present yourself, and what others think of you.

So far thats all the questions that I could come up with that people would like to know about myself. If you got anymore just leave a comment, and I will try to answer them the best I can and as fast as I can.

Boobs

Well I got my silicone breast forms today, and let me tell you I love them. I have never felt so good when I have them on. The best part when it was all said and done it only cost me around $40. I’m going to tell you if you got the money and the time. Hit up ebay and grab yourself a pair.

I don’t know what it is but just having them on makes me feel better about how I look and more secure about myself while en femme. It makes me fell that I could just go hit up the town and no one would know who I was. Now if only I could dance.

The only down side so far is that I wish I also had another pair that wasn’t oval shaped so I could where them with my corset and other short strapless outfits. I might just have to buy a pair of those one of these days. After I get makeup and learn how to use it.

Boobs

Well I did it. I ordered some fake silicone breast inserts. They turned out not to be as much as I thought they would. I had been looking to buy them from actual stores but after reading some forum post some one had suggested ebay of all places to order them. I never really thought about this option as I just have yet to have good luck ordering from ebay. I figured I would give it one last try and hope they turn out well. So heres hoping they get here in time before everyone comes home. I really want to just wear them for hours on end.

Make your own set of fake breasts

One of the first thing many beginning T-Girls always want to know is how to get great fakes breasts. So I will explain to you the one method that I use. As I have yet to go out into public en femme do to some reasons. Mainly I have yet to get some makeup and a good wig to wear out, or anyone to go out with. I have yet to use a makeup/push up technique. The technique I use requires a few ingredients. You will need 4 balloons, preferable ones that match your skin tone or as close to as you can. The next part you will need is one of these two things some bird seed or rice. I used bird seed as it was the easiest thing I had at the time. The last thing you will need is a funnel.

The first step is to blow up all your balloons making sure to stretch them out pretty well. Once you have done that. you will want to take two of the balloons and insert one into the other keeping both open ends at same side. Now do the same for the other two balloons. What this provides is a smother less likely to break breast. Now take you funnel and place the open end of each of your balloons around the end of the funnel. Making sure to get both the outer and inner balloons on there. Now you might want to measure out two equal shares of rice or seed to about the size of breasts you are wanting to have. Keep in mind this approach only works best with an A or B cup. Any bigger and they will start to look fake more fake. I personally went for a B cup as an A cup is pretty small, and I wanted to actually feel that I had breasts. Now take your equal shares of rice or seed and poor them into each balloon set. There is really no technique to getting the rice or seed in the breast. Just make sure you get it all into there. Other wise you might have lop sided breasts. Once you have them full tie of the end of each balloon. When you do this keep the ends of the inner balloon at the same point as the outer balloon. This will help to give you an effect of having nipples.

If you have completed everything correct you should now have two nicely sized breasts. Now just put on your favorite bra and put them babies in. One thing I like to do it to take the extra skin that you have over your pecks and push it up as far as I can to better give myself the fill of having cleavage.

Please keep in mind this is not the only approach there is to having breasts of your own, but it seems to be the easiest and the less messiest for someone just coming out. By no means you I recommend this method if you know you will be engaging in sexual activities while en femme. As it might ruin the mood. For times like that you may wish to use the more complex makeup approach, or if you have money you may just wish to go out and buy yourself a nice set of strap on breasts. As I don’t have that much money to do that. This works well for me.

I will hopeful manage to learn the wonders of makeup and how to better create the illusion of having breast, but tell that day come this is what I got.

Buying your first set of clothes

Many people wounder how to go about buying there first set of clothes. I know I did. I was nervous about ordering them and one of my roommates intercepting my package. O boy that would be a fun thing to try to explain. So the time finally came when it would be possible for me to order them and not worry about getting caught. This time came when my roommates’ band would be going out on tour. I figured that would be the best time if any to order them.

I thought about were I would buy them from, how I would buy them, and what I would buy. I so wanted to buy a real sexy number from Victoria Secret or Fredrick’s of Hollywood, but I figured that would not be the best place for me to buy from. The main reason would be that I would have to worry about the delivery guy wondering what I was buy from them and why I was buying from them. I soon figured the best place for me to buy some clothes would be from one of the major retail stores websites. One would be because no one would ask question as to why I was buying from them, and two would be because well they are a hell of a lot cheaper.

As you well know the rest of the story if you have read my previous post. I did get my lovely clothes. I boy do I love them.

I would have to say that if you are truly wanting to get in touch with your second self. This would have to be one of the first steps to take at getting there. Once you get that first par of clothes you will feel much better about yourself and less toward thinking what you are doing is bad.